De l'endroit où je suis on voit les bras de la mer qui s'allongent puis renoncent à mordre dans la terre...

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Sometimes

I feel like hiding under my bed
and never coming out again.

Somebody

once told me to hide under there
-just because I felt afraid-

until everything is over.
I would hold flowers then

and spread them all around.
It would all be over then,

wouldn't it?

Dearest all,

you have known so far

my passion for light and darkness.

I'm more than sure you know

that nothing exists without the light,

but light can not be proved

without the darkness.

It wouldn't reflect on the clouds,
or would stars shine the same

if it wasn't for the darkness

of our solemn universe?

Are feelings and hopes and dreams

and passion and everything that is impossible
the light in the darkest of our soul?

Can we see ourselves through that dark,

using the lantern of our feelings?

Oh, how I have always been chasing the light

either to hide,

or melt, or shine!

You see, I always had

the conviction that

only by hiding behind the light

can I have all of my

imperfections
vanished.

But what if

I have only been hiding in the dark so far

-the dark of my dreams and hopes

and everything that seems impossible to me?

What is so wrong with me, anyway?

Why couldn't I ever
touch that fragile portrait of myself,

why is it that nobody ever

searched for the glass world

I created in my dreams?

Was it the dark that closed off that way?

Couldn't I stop

touching that false image of myself

to only feel the rejection I can sense?

*

-What are you afraid of?
-I'm not afraid of anything.

*

(I'm sorry for the extended self portraits- it makes me feel quite egocentric looking at it, but I only realised the plethora of my face after finishing the post!I hope it doesn't look that boring and repetitious to you as it now seems to me!
Anyway, I wish everyone is fine and has a more magnificent time than I do! It's difficult to cope with school stuff as the requirements grow harder and harder and my willingness to compromise with the fact that I really-need-to-concentrate-on-my-studies-instead-of-daydreaming-and-grouching-about-everything gets lesser and lesser.Plus, I realised how much I want to study Art and devote the rest of my life to it... but I don't know exactly what I want to do. At least I have lots of options to choose from: cinema, theatre, painting, photography... I wish I'll get the chance to do all of them-one thing I'm determined to do in my life is to fill it with the most exciting things I can possibly do. I don't want it to be wasted in monochrome habbits and rituals, as many people end up doing... -maybe this is one of my most positive thoughts and prospects,as most of the time I feel pessimistic and negative! Or at least, that's what I have been told...)

So, watching 'Arizona dream' -an amazing film by Emir Kusturica, with its soundtrack composed by Goran Bregovic- the other day made me really want to...

...build my own flying machine in 5 simple steps:

''I've never built a flying machine before,

but how hard could it be?''

... and learn how to play the accordion

(I have always wanted to, actually)!

''I'm ok, I'm just...

just stacking cars.
It's too late, the dream's over.
I've got to start climbing...
It's a long way, Axel,

It's a long way to the moon...''

''I want you to have
the world.''

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That is all for now, my dear readers, I wish I could stay more and spend some time searching the web in order to find instructions and useful tips on how to build a flying machine myself (Johnny Depp is, by the way, another good reason of watching that incredible movie- I wish he could build that flying machine for me, too). But the more I close my eyes and dream, the more time shrinks and shrinks, without me being able to follow it or even get lost in it...

Anyway,

adieu

dear dreamers xx

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ps: Wouldn't it be amazing to own a flying machine and travel all around the sky on sunny evenings, through the fluffy clouds, above the sunset and the mountains?