Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes...

Quand il me prends dans ses bras,
il me parle tous bas, je vois la vie en rose.
Il est entre dans mon coeur, une part de bonheur

donc je connais la cause...

...et des que je l'apercois, alors je sens en moi

mon coeur qui bat.

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Oh, hoorey, I'm back again... it's been quite a long time since my last post. Hmm. I wasn't really in the mood of sharing things, nor am I now actually. I quite missed it though... That's why I came back.

Anyway. It feels like I have went back in time the past few days, as I've cought myself only listening to french and jazz songs of the 30's to the 50's, reading poetry of the same period and watching old movies, mainly French ones... It is so interesting the way past can always influence our present lives...
So, yesterday I was back from my grandma's house, where I took the chance of photoshooting after a quite long time. That made me realise how much I missed taking photos and how much I want to start using a camera with black and white film! But again, I can sense a HUGE lack of time, spirit and inspiration which drives me quite crazy... I just want this terrible mess to end... I can't help feeling unable to cope with any single difficult and inconvinient situation! I just want to leave and disappear, I can't help feeling so vulnerable...
Whatever...

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head...

I wish 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds' was written for me! How I wish I were Lucy! That girl with the kaleidoscope eyes...

...trying to get over the glass wall she's created between herself and rest of the world...

And that's my best shot, I think. That carousel makes me feel like endlessly spinning around myself, with no purpose, no motivation, just because that' ll never make me think again. I just want to rest... and stop harming myself. Anything I wish for does me no good. It's hard and I'm too coward to try. I'm weak... and wish things come my way at last. I can't help feeling that terribe rejection of anything ,even of myself...

I'm tired, I'm weary,

I could sleep for thousand years.

A thousand dreams that would awake me,

different colours made of tears...

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However depressive it may sound, I wish everyone a happy, true, inspirational, full of love and stars and health above all, new year!

Just achieve your goals. Remember, it is only our lives that we are living, not anybody else's.

Just our lives...