Lucienne Delyle- Mon amant de saint Jean

(I know, the video sucks but the song's absolutely marvellous)

Libiamo ne' lieti calici, che la bellezza infiora; e la fuggevol ora s' inebrii a volutta

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Tom Waits I`ll be gone

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'' Well, you know.. the past few days,

I have been wanting to cry.

..Ι tried it actually, plenty of times,

but nope, not even a single tear.

No, no, I'm terribly fine, it's nothing, really

...but..

I can still sense the flood inside me,

you know... it just needs to burst out.

It's time it burst out.

I have been counting the letters, the dreams,

the commas, everything, except

the clouds I set on your shade of colours,

(they have been counting me)

everything, oh they all clench my body, and it hurts.

They shout at me, shouting that time, time, time

passes by, it has passed away so long ago

without me

and still I am lost in my little, tiny world of mirrors

and fantasy.

I am scared and

my body hurts, my face is swollen.

And I needed to cry,

but nope, no

no sad song could make me cry.

Close your eyes,

I'm climbing up the sky to pick us some flowers,

I'll be back by the time you wake up,

by the time everything ends.

I' ll be back before you notice I'm gone.

Have you ever noticed

I'm gone?''

(''PS: I will be chasing the sound of the bicylce bells.

Should you know how to capture the sounds,

do tell me.

Place your note on my fingers,

I' ll pretend that I'm sleeping.'')

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Ne me quitte pas..

Hey, I watch my body float to the holy night of the room where I lay and a river went through the corridor, it wet me to my knee, la la la la la...

Double faced me

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yet,

it's not always like that

It is just a spilt portrait

of mine

on a dirty, old mirror;

the eyes

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(not a film)

A Hawk And A Hacksaw - The Sparrow

J'ai caché mieux que partout ailleurs, au grand jardin de mon coeur, une petite fleur

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(They look so fake, don't they?)

Si vous laissez passer cette chance, alors avec le temps, c'est votre cœur qui va devenir aussi sec et cassant que mon squelette. Alors, allez y!

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(That's my sister. She will probably murder me, if she founds her being here. I think she's beautifull. Underneath, my porcelain friend. Portraits, portraits, my kingdom for portraits!)
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PS: I really really want to smoke right now. I occasionally do so,actually (I haven't smoked for almost three weeks), but now, I would really appreciate a cigarette. On a rooftop, or the terrace my friends and I usually go, watching they great, grey clouds slipping by on the sky... Maybe, dancing too... and certainly dreaming...

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...quand je suis dans tes bras...

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(noo, it's not me singing that! It's Frehel..)

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I have really missed living. Somehow..

Oh, but you' re lovely with your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft, lovely, never never change

Aspects of my favourite, beloved town. I know it may look rather indifferent, dirty or even ugly-as many do call it- but I can not mind at all, as I consider it one of my greatest sources of inspiration- and that's the real, I think, motivation for me to conquer it (well, not literally!); to conceive the way its sounds beat, the way its streets breathe, how its both old and old-fashioned buildings can persist in the fast, terrifying passing of time, without losing their slight, delicate sense of magic. However stranger I seem to feel at times roaming its streets, it will always make me deeply feel like home; at least, as far as I am discovering pieces of myself lying in common with it, on its pavements and secret corners of rapture...

We may never, ever meet again, on the bumpy road to love. Still, I'll always keep the memory of the way you wear your hat, the way you sip your tea

(I dare say my favourite's the third one- I actually believe they all look greatly better after being scanned! These are among the best shots I had during my three-day excursion to my grandma's village for the Easter holidays. I know that place quite looks idyllic! Well it's not, unless you know where to roam... Whatever, more photos are to come, from the same rolls of film.)

À bout de souffle

Let's dance, little stranger,

show me secret sins...

Oh let's do it, let's fall in love

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Well, these are my very film attempts! Oh, be sympathetic with them, I know their subjects are quite common to my previous photographic (yet digital!) attempts, but I had no spare time at all to roam the streets with my camera and shoot whatever would catch my eye. I was experimenting in my bedroom, but I'm really glad to see the results are better to what I expected! However bad the scan quality is, they look preety good, don't they? I now can't wait to have those three rolls of film I mentioned before printed, as I'm expecting better results.
Plus, rather than buying that Buster-Keaton-hat I also mentioned before, I bought an Ella Fitzgerald album from a Cole Porter's anthology, which is quite amazing. I love jazz music of the '30's artists (such as Louis Armstrong, my favourite Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington, Django Reinhardt etc) so I just couldn't help not owing an album of hers! She is really amazing, so inspirational...

So, that's all for now, I may post again some time next week, to share more photographs (oh,yes I am really excited as you can see, and guess I'm already being more pleasant, as I promised!).

Have a good night, everyone!


PS: The notebook's collage on the second photograph was made by me, too, some time ago..

Someone take these dreams away, that point me to another day

Oh dear, right now i feel like a terribly big, swollen balloon in a desperate need of blowing out. And i need to throw up. Still, i will make it, though! I promise next post will be much more pleasant, i promise to share some of my first attempts at photographing with film. Today afternoon, i'm getting my very first roll of film from the photography store i went to, to have it printed (Well,not exactly the first as the very very first roll of film i have ever had printed was about ten years ago, i think, when my dad gave me my first camera to take with me in an all-day-long school excursion! I can still remember it! And i still have that little, childish, yellow camera! I was so impatient to see my photography attempts printed! It quite reminds me of 'Amelie', now that i'm giving it a second thought- you know,when her parents gave her a camera in order to console her for her little fish her mother set free in the river St Martin...). I feel quite impatient again. I'm going to give three more rolls of film I shoot during the Easter holidays too, today...
I also promise I will never be so grumpy again...ever!
Everything, everything will be alright soon, i promise, i know it. I can feel it!
Hope not to be proved wrong...
Wish me luck, somebody! I need to make it...

Gypsy sun and rainbows to all of you, my friends, enjoy the summer coming. Plus, spend some time watching Buster Keaton short films on video google! He is so amazing, i'm so much impressed and inspired by him. I'm going to buy a hat like his, too, today!

I call upon my daring, I can't taste anymore, I can't waste anymore

Without my heart, what can I do?

The times we had

oh, when the wind would blow with rain and snow

were not all bad,

we put our feet just where they had,

had to go.

The shatterred soul,

following close but nearly twice as slow

in my good times

there were always golden rocks to throw

at those who,

those who admit defeat too late,

those were our times,

those were our times...

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I quite look so sure in that photograph, but oh, how I hate my nose! Well, there's something wrong about me in that photograph, anyway... (These are my new sunglasses, they actually look much better in reality...). Yes, I have taken it with my cell phone!

I need to stop caring...

I'm now listening to Beirut and I can't help thinking of how amazing they are (as I always do)! The 'Gulag Orkestar' is my favourite album of theirs, and undoubtedly one of my most beloved works ever.

''Suddenly, now

the winter's over...

...I wanted you, oh oh,

now, I can't have you...''

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Listening to 'Prenzlauerberg' and 'Bandenburg' just makes me dream and quit reality for some minutes. This is, I think, among the things I feel the immense need of doing (as I might have already mentioned in past posts). Leave. Escape, quit, give up, having been led astray, you can call it anything you like, I don't care, I just feel it. I just want it. It is all a matter of 'now or never', every single feeling, motion or motivation must be considered like this... I want to get rid of all that stupid, matterless things that keep me from breaking the limit, my limits, the ones I set myself, to myself... No, I can't do this to me, I can't permit my life to be wasted on nothing really worth of it.

It' s magical how songs, conversations and hopes make dreams and plans come instantly true, no matter how feasible this is... but, hell, who's to judge that? Who's to tell us whether our dreams can come true? Who sets the limits?

And yes, it is us who do so. It it only us that is left i nthe end... Just us.

All these may sound nonsense, I apologise... I bet it's due to the lack of sleep and peace of mind I (enforce myself to?) undergo- yes, I am self-destructive in case you are wondering. I need to take a break and stop thinking for a while. And wish for the next 12 or 13 weeks to pass quick (it's the time remaining until I sit those damn finishing exams in order to enter the university...any university actually, I just need this terrible mess to end, as said in previous post of mine...-what a stagnancy!)

Whatever. I still believe that everything will be alright and peaceful and less perplexing in some time... I do (really!)! Goodnight, everyone and expect colourful days, clouds and waves..

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Sa me amala oro khelena

oro khelena, dive kerena

Romano dive, amaro dive

amaro dive

EDERLEZI

We're tonight in a world full of thrills- it can carry me up, far above it all, to the stars then to the ground...

It felt like..:

And now it's quite like:

I want to be someone else

or I'll explode.

Floating upon the surface for the birds...

the birds...

You want me?

Fucking well come and find me,

I'll be waiting

with a gun and a pack of sandwiches

and nothing,

nothing,nothing,

nothing...

You want me?

Well come on and break the door down

You want me?

Well come on and break the door down,

I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...

(Thank you, Radiohead)

And they were like:

But still....

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Oh, by the way... I've turned 18 today. It doesn't feel strange, it doesn't feel anything at all actually (oh, maybe some of the melancholy I'm through the past few days). Nothing of what I expected as a child. On the contrary, I may want to go back...

Carousels twirl all around exited youth,

I do not mind at all.
Times I've betrayed,

where would we be now,

If I'd taken your hand?

Well, the years,

they pass by slow,

don't they?